To a Charmed Life: Freedom from the Past

The joyful recipients of my letting go.

Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment.”  -John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

I once attended a packed conference, and during the break, a man who claimed to do spiritual work approached me. He told me that he was an intuitive and that of all the people in the crowd, he felt drawn to talk to me. After some initial conversation, he expressed his opinion.

“You seem like a person who has led a charmed life,” he said. “Life has come easily to you, and it is hardship you need to truly advance.”

At first, I was incredulous and incensed. Some charlatan you must be, I thought, if you can perceive me and my life no clearer than that.

I stood there, the old me wanting to share my satire with presence and power.

Instead, I paused and simply said, “I know something of suffering.”

As we went back to our seats, I pondered his pronouncement as I vacillated between mild irritation and curiosity, and then it hit me. His inability to see the anguish of my life was a compliment. So completely had I forgiven and released the past, that I no longer wore the pain of it like a badge or carried it around like a trophy. So clear of these emotions was I that he who was trained to see such things could not even detect them.

In her book Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can Caroline Myss, medical intuitive and mystic, speaks of the phenomenon of “woundology.” Woundology is a way of presenting oneself in the world by the abuse, illnesses, and hardships we’ve suffered. This way of being allows us to connect with people who have suffered likewise, and keeps us in a place of a disempowered victim.

Therefore~

My soul is awakened and I shall never go back to dwell in the lowlands of the past, except in reverence and in gratitude for the entire span of my life which I do not despise, and which I hold in sacred honor. I shall write most of all about light, love, luminosity, and flourishing here on this blog. But if you must know, I do know something of suffering, which is why at times I am filled with such joy I shall not contain it.

If you’re holding onto the past, start first by considering the possibility that you will be safe without it. Maybe you will and maybe you won’t but maybe you will. Consider that you no longer need these wounds to justify your lack of success in life and that you can stand on your own two feet without them. Consider that holding onto the pain will not help them learn their lessons nor will it help you learn yours. Just consider the possibility, and it’s okay if you need time or if you can only let go of a little. It’s completely okay.

To the compliment of a charmed life for all…

6 Comments

  1. Wendy Jones on 04/17 at

    “As we went back to our seats, I pondered his pronouncement as I vacillated between mild irritation and curiosity, and then it hit me. His inability to see the anguish of my life was a compliment. So completely had I forgiven and released the past, that I no longer wore the pain of it like a badge or carried it around like a trophy. So clear of these emotions was I that he who was trained to see such things could not even detect them.”

    Absolutely and wonderfully brilliant! I hope I reach that point myself someday. I think I will, but I’m realizing that forgiveness is a process. It’s easy to say, “I forgive ________,” but it’s much harder to actually feel that way in your heart of hearts. That this person saw none of your past hurts says a lot about you!

    Thanks for the inspiration today. Also, I completely love the picture.

  2. Laureen Simper on 04/17 at

    Beautiful, because it’s truth. This is what it is to become as a little child. Thanks for a beautiful articulation of it.

  3. Kristie on 04/17 at

    The trick, of course, is to hold onto your past without letting it hold onto you, which is seems you have done. I know something of this also, especially when dealing with complicated feelings towards a parent. Once that release and forgiveness happens, it’s liberating, isn’t it?

  4. Mary Ann Mabey on 04/18 at

    I love this, M. Can I copy it to send to Ginger. I think it could help her in her healing process. You have such a beautiful way with words and expressing thoughts. Thank you for making the effort to share them with others!! Love you, Mary Ann

    • Melanee Evans on 04/18 at

      Absolutely you can send it to Ginger. Please send my love to her along with it.

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