Freeing Rapunzel: Dealing with Hurt Feelings

Rare it is for me to allow myself to have hurt feelings, but I have them. They sit in the pit of my heart, a mixture of painful, unrelenting emotions, and now I must decide whether to take action to feel better, or to say a simple prayer and let them pass with limited fanfare.

It would be easy to blame something outside of myself for my feelings. It would be easy to craft a story that places me as a helpless Rapunzel in a locked tower, unable to be free without the aid of her prince. And were I like Rapunzel, in physical confinement, such help may be necessary, but this is an emotional endeavor and as such, only I have the key.

And what is that key, you may ask? It is, as every seeking sage, poet, and philosopher knows well. It is the key of a single, divine thought. A single shift in perception. A single glance across the horizon, instead of at these illusory bricks before me.

“Our feelings,” said Syd Banks, “are the barometer of our soul. They are the measure of our thinking.”

The blind, Nazi concentration camp survivor, Jacques Lusseyran, proclaims the same belief, born from experience. “Our fate is shaped from within ourselves outward, never from without inward.”

Indeed, if every thought has an emotion attached, which I believe to be true, then my mixture of emotions are not coming from an an outside event, but from my own thought. My own perception. My own carefully crafted story.

To me, this idea speaks hope. It tells me that instead of being randomly imprisoned by the whims of others until they release me, I have been endowed with the power to be emotionally free at any moment. To simply look in a different direction, and see the breathtaking, luminous vista that is always there to see, if I am willing to look.

And while I sometimes still play the role of victim, and even heroine, I’ve found that playing no role at all is the freest of all. Any other outside-in version of life, no matter how dramatic or enchanting, is just a fairy-tale.

Thank-you for listening. I am feeling more peace, more joy, and more free. I am viewing a new landscape, and I am loving what I see.




  1. Kristie on 12/17 at

    I’m sorry you were hurt, Melanee. Those of us who love to write sometimes feel things deeper than others, which can have its drawbacks. Perception is extremely important–perception and (for me) perspective. When I see the suffering that goes on in the world, I realize that any hurt I have is not worth the time and effort I’m giving it. Here’s to healing and enjoying the holiday season. We have so many blessings.

    • Melanee Evans on 12/18 at

      Thank-you, Kristie, and yes. Writers and artists do tend to be more sensitive, says the research. For writers, I wonder if it’s because we think a lot and deeply, and often with a great deal of self-examination. I’ve often joked that once I retire the coaching/writing profession, I want to take up geology and study rocks instead of emotions and people. My husband seems to think, however, that I would get bored. Hmm..

      May your Christmas be merry and bright as well!

  2. Mary Ann Mabey on 12/19 at

    Love this. You are so talented in expressing yourself with words.
    Love you!
    Mary Ann

  3. Gina Aldridge on 12/27 at

    You are amazing. This touched my heart and made me once again in awe of your talent of expressing yourself. I love your attitude. We need to sit and chat again. I love our deep thought talks 🙂

Leave a Comment