I stood at the sink washing dishes with my single friend this past weekend who bemoaned her online dating trouble with a conversation that went back and forth like this:
“What if the guy turns out to be like my dad and ends up leaving me like my dad did my mom?”
‘That’s an interesting projection.”
“I’m sorry, but I have lots of past baggage and I just don’t trust guys to be who they say they are.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Yes, please. I love questions!”
“Do you trust yourself?”
“Well, no, of course I don’t, and here are the reasons why…”
The great guitarist Carlos Santana once said, ”Everybody sooner or later has to drop the luggage and the baggage of illusions.”
Santana is onto something, but I’m curious. What if the real illusion is that we have this “past baggage” at all?
What if my friend’s fear of a guy’s rejection isn’t a “thing” inside of her from the past that needs to be pried from her soul or unloaded like smelly socks from a suitcase into the abyss before she can have a happy relationship?
What if there was just one thing she needed to glimpse that would change her experience with men forever? And what if in that glimpse, she realized she no longer needed to poke, prod, patch, and proclaim this pesky story of her past anymore because she could see it for what it was?
This is the conversation I love to have with people. A conversation about solid principles that are simple, timeless, and freeing. I know, because in this light I can see more clearly that I’ve always been free. In this light, I can see that having thriving, peaceful, loving relationships is possible no matter my past because I know where my experience of life is coming from.
From what I can see, our experience of life is not coming from the past, no matter how popular that theory is, because that theory doesn’t hold true in all circumstances for all people. That’s the difference between stable principles, or laws of nature, and current conjecture. True principles bear out in the world of form every single time for every person no matter what we think of them. Conjecture, theory, or our very best guess, is often hit or miss.
Here’s a principle, said in a few different ways that I’ve been able to take to the bank with stunning returns.
- The only thing standing between me and my well-being is a thought.
- A thought is just a thought. They come and go, and I can watch them like clouds passing in the sky.
- I do not feel the past, my current circumstances, or the future. I feel my thinking about these thoughts.
- At any moment, I can have a new thought, and experience a whole new feeling about life.
- The more I see that my thoughts are like clouds that will pass, the less I try to manage them.
- The less I try to manage my thoughts, the more I can feel the warmth of the sun behind the clouds, which is always there.
- No matter the circumstances and thought storms of my life, the sun was shining then and is still shining today.
- I do not have to wait to be “healed” to experience this deeper feeling and a wonderful life.
- Peace is what is real and what’s on offer at any moment.
- All I need to do is look beyond my transitory thought and I will see.
- Peace is what I’m made of, and it’s free.
Looking back, when I asked my friend if she trusted herself, I wasn’t asking if she trusted her momentary thinking about herself. I was asking her if she trusted that clear, bright, untouchable place inside of her that tells her the truth in love, guides her to her promised land, and is the birthright of every single human on the earth.
Life is easier than we think, and surprisingly baggage free.
For upcoming classes or a conversation on practical peace and a wonderful life, don’t hesitate to be in touch with me.